Only I'm going to work this morning with decidedly less enthusiasm than the dwarfs!
Long night last night. I woke up over and over, and had quite a number of strange, blurry dreams that have again left me unsettled. I woke in a state of disarray - mentally, physically, emotionally, maybe even spiritually. Blah.
Of course, I went to bed frustrated, after a conversation with my parents, so that could account for at least part of how I woke up. Biting my tongue to keep from saying things that would have landed me in a great deal of hot water. Right now, we're not navigating the "I'm an adult and making my own decisions/You're still my child living under my roof" thing very well. I desperately need to either move out or buy a car and create some independence. We're battling over financial issues - which I happen to think is none of their business. I work for my money, and I pay my bills, and I'm not sure why my mom in particular feels the need to have massive amounts of input into my finances. I'm financially responsible - I just don't do things quite their way.
Most of the conversations we've had recently have felt like criticisms for the way I'm choosing to live my life - the way I handle my finances, the church I've chosen, the job I'm working in, sometimes even the way I handle my social life.
But, no time to muse on this now... I must be off to work and keep making money so I can keep being financially stable (unless, of course, my mother steps in!)
Friday, January 06, 2006
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6 comments:
What dot you mean by "pay my own bills"? Cell phone, rent or buy your own clothes & gas? Your mom is of the age where she has seen many women lost when the finances are messed up (divorce-death-loss of jobs)Yes I'm a mom. It can be hard to let go & let your child fall on their face & let pull them self back up. Our main purpose is to teach our children how to stand up on their own feet & be responisble. Maybe your growing up too fast for her. Love is the key, it always is.
Hi Lisa,
I navigated here from Christine's Epiphany...
I'm a mom, too, but I understand where you're coming from. My job as a parent is to make my job obsolete..to create independence in my kids...and so far, so good. My parents wouldn't cut the strings and I struggle to this day with my dad butting into my stuff! And I'm in my 40's! So, hang in there, maybe you can give them some idea of how you are handling things just fine now...let 'em in a little, volunteer some info, and when they see the trustworthy adult that they raised...they'll back off a little. Just don't let them try to run things when you are fully out on your own. You can do it! It took me too long to get that for myself...be confident! :-)
Thanks, ladies.
Paige... paying bills - I pay for my cell phone, all my recreation - eating out, movies etc., my credit card, all my clothes, gas money for the car, and my provincial health care (as of this month). I don't pay my parents rent at this moment, because I've just graduated, and the deal was I got to live for free at home as long as I was in school. We haven't renegotiated yet, but I think it's coming any day.
Karen, thanks for the encouragement. Somehow we're going to make it. They're not clingy, just not quite realizing the adult thing yet - probably because we all still live at home (free rent while in school and all that!)
It's good to hear it from the other side Lisa. I'm not doing so hot with the letting go of my adult kids either. My youngest just turned 18. It's a struggle to let go over and over again. Hearing it from your point of view helps me. Thank you. Hope your work day went well.
Hope, thanks for your encouragement. We're battling at the moment, but I do believe it will get better. I think it will help when I'm able to purchase a car, or move out - because it will create that much more independence for me. The biggest issue right now is that I'm feeling smothered and criticized, and if I have more independence, I think that will help.
Lisa
It will.
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