Schtuff...

Wow, another truly original title on my part! Hey, what can I say - I'm tired, and my brain is less functional when I'm tired. So, another bullet point update for you...

• Narnia: The movie was fantastic. But, I'm such a book geek. Yes, the movie was fairly true to the book. I was trying to describe my thoughts about the movie for my dad (who introduced my brothers and I to Narnia, and created my vision of the characters by giving them voices and personalities as he read the stories to us), and the best I could come up with is this: "The movie is magical. But Narnia is more magical in my head. The Narnia in my mind has more color, more body, more depth, more personality (and personalities!) than what the creators of the movie (who did an admittedly fantastic job) put on the screen."
• I'm reading a pair of great novels. They're by an author named Chaim Potok, and are titled The Chosen and The Promise. They're powerful pieces of work. But what truly fascinates me is the fact that they are about two Orthodox Jewish boys/young men. I love the way Potok (who is himself a Rabbi, I believe) handles the issue of they faith of his characters. It is central to the story, but it is also something to be wrestled with, questioned, and explored. The novels are also rich in history, and that "coming of age" style narrative that always grabs my attention. You should all read these two books.
• I'm tired. The stress of the last month finally caught up to me, and I spent a great deal of last week in an extremely crabby mood. (Not to mention that my sleep became more and more disturbed by unsettling dreams again. And the depression kicked up a notch too.) God got my attention yesterday morning, and I had to deal with some stuff throughout the day. The long and short of it is that as the stress piled on, instead of approaching God in the way I have been learning since that night a month ago, the open-handed way, I chose instead to carry more and more of the burden myself. So, things were difficult in my life - what was I going to do about it - how was I going to handle it? Things were bad for my friend - what was my response going to be? It was all about ME. And God quietly reminded me that I needed to go back to praying, "My life is open to You, use me however You choose." And not praying in a militant "why is this happening to me, and why aren't you doing anything manner". Basically, He challenged me to open my hands and resubmit myself to His hands and control - to stop doing for myself, and allow Him to do. And it was not an easy realization - to see how quickly I slipped from the better place I was in for those weeks to the place where I was controlling, and scared, and demanding, and depressed. And the more I controlled, the crabbier and more exhausted I became. Funny how that works. It wasn't easy but I am committed to hold my life before Him with open hands. Now, if you would all just keep reminding me of this!
• I start final exams this week. Pray for my concentration. I'm really not a very dedicated student, even though I love to learn. It will take discipline that I don't always possess to devote the necessary time to preparing for this last set of final exams.
• Eight days - in eight days I will be done my bachelor's degree!