It's my last day of freedom. Tomorrow I go back to work, and to what I suspect is going to be quite a mess.
I'm sitting here, ensconced on the couch in our living room, as I have been for much of the time since I got home last Tuesday evening. Comfortable, with books and a journal within easy reach, and writing (which I've spent great chunks of time engaged in since returning home as well).
My roommate just went out for a bit, taking our recycling with her. She has errands to run for a while, and I'm meaning to make the most of a quiet house to accomplish one last push of journaling before returning to work and being unable to devote long chunks of my day to writing, thinking, praying.
She and I, and my brother, T., went to Elbow Falls this morning for a while. A place I love to go - close to the city, but no longer in it - in what can rightly be referred to as wilderness. I don't think I can live in the city much longer. I think I need a break. A slower pace of life. I want to live somewhere where I can walk to the grocery store - where I can walk within 30 minutes to most of the places I would need to be. I want to live somewhere with friends and community. I'm not ready to transplant myself just yet (I don't want to go through any more transitions for a little while) - there's even a neighborhood in Calgary that I've loved for a long time that would fit a lot of my qualifications. I'm not ready to move anytime soon, but I'm starting to think about it, to pray about it, to wait for Jesus to direct my next steps.
And with that, I'm off to work on the writing...
Monday, February 18, 2008
Sunday, February 17, 2008
Appearance and Comfort
Can I be completely shallow for a few minutes and tell you that I looked really good today?
That I wore a really cute jean skirt, and one of my favorite slightly bohemian tops, with great earrings and a scarf from Malta. That I paired the skirt with comfy tights (since it's winter) and these really cute suede boots that I also bought in Malta.
That I showered and did my hair. That I wore my favorite perfume, and took time to carefully do my makeup.
That I felt pretty, and it was nice to feel that way.
Can I also just say that I am just presently taking great pleasure in the fact that I've come home for the evening, scrubbed my face clean of the make-up, re-applied some lip balm (my lips are dry since returning from the Mediterranean), and changed clothes. I'm comfortable and happy. I'm wearing my favorite yoga capris, and a flowy east indian top that someone gave my roommate, and she was wearing yesterday to clean our house. I commented on the top, and she asked if I wanted it, since she didn't particularly like it, and would never wear it out of the house. I jumped on the chance, and am already figuring out how to debut it in my everyday wardrobe, but, for the moment, I'm wearing it with yoga capris and relaxing comfortably on the couch.
Pretty is great. But comfortable is pretty good too.
That I wore a really cute jean skirt, and one of my favorite slightly bohemian tops, with great earrings and a scarf from Malta. That I paired the skirt with comfy tights (since it's winter) and these really cute suede boots that I also bought in Malta.
That I showered and did my hair. That I wore my favorite perfume, and took time to carefully do my makeup.
That I felt pretty, and it was nice to feel that way.
Can I also just say that I am just presently taking great pleasure in the fact that I've come home for the evening, scrubbed my face clean of the make-up, re-applied some lip balm (my lips are dry since returning from the Mediterranean), and changed clothes. I'm comfortable and happy. I'm wearing my favorite yoga capris, and a flowy east indian top that someone gave my roommate, and she was wearing yesterday to clean our house. I commented on the top, and she asked if I wanted it, since she didn't particularly like it, and would never wear it out of the house. I jumped on the chance, and am already figuring out how to debut it in my everyday wardrobe, but, for the moment, I'm wearing it with yoga capris and relaxing comfortably on the couch.
Pretty is great. But comfortable is pretty good too.
Saturday, February 16, 2008
drained
Tired is a good way to describe how I'm feeling today. Drained.
Still occupying those raw spaces from yesterday - thinking they're not going away for a while. Thinking I'm actually mostly okay with that, though just at the moment they feel a little overwhelming.
Spent time with people today.
Tea/Coffee with a friend this morning. So good. To talk openly about my trip, not the sanitized results driven version that I'll share with most. Sharing God stories. The promise of more time together, of time to pray for and with each other.
Then mom picked me up. We had a good conversation.
Went to a baby shower for a young friend of mine who gave birth three weeks ago while I was in Malta. It was so good to see this tiny little girl she brought into the world. A gift of new life.
Funny how drained I feel. A combination of the raw spaces and jet-lag I think.
Praying for deep sleep tonight. Restful sleep.
Needing it badly.
Still occupying those raw spaces from yesterday - thinking they're not going away for a while. Thinking I'm actually mostly okay with that, though just at the moment they feel a little overwhelming.
Spent time with people today.
Tea/Coffee with a friend this morning. So good. To talk openly about my trip, not the sanitized results driven version that I'll share with most. Sharing God stories. The promise of more time together, of time to pray for and with each other.
Then mom picked me up. We had a good conversation.
Went to a baby shower for a young friend of mine who gave birth three weeks ago while I was in Malta. It was so good to see this tiny little girl she brought into the world. A gift of new life.
Funny how drained I feel. A combination of the raw spaces and jet-lag I think.
Praying for deep sleep tonight. Restful sleep.
Needing it badly.
Friday, February 15, 2008
Raw
I'm feeling really raw right now.
Engaged in some deep places. Looking to avoid some others.
Feeling some deep wounds - some new some older - and hoping to see healing in all of them.
Engaged in some deep places. Looking to avoid some others.
Feeling some deep wounds - some new some older - and hoping to see healing in all of them.
writing and space
Spent several chunks of today just sitting with a journal. I'm beginning to suspect that few of the really important things from my trip are going to make it onto this blog. They'll have to be saved for face-to-face or phone conversations if you really want to hear them. Some of them will probably not even make it to that point.
I'm so glad (despite my griping at my inability to schedule time with friends) that I was unable to fill the time I've had this week, and that I scheduled the time for processing before returning to work.
Part of what I'm committed to in Lent this year is pursuing writing in my journal again. Hopefully on a daily basis. I'm committed to processing the things that have begun within me over the course of the last five weeks, and I think that needs to happen first on paper, before it ever makes it to this blog.
So I'll still blog, but maybe not with the depth I've sometimes applied. You may see more thoughts from others, more links to articles, more humor, and less of my own essays.
I need to make sure I take this space. That I let Lent work in me again this year.
I'm so glad (despite my griping at my inability to schedule time with friends) that I was unable to fill the time I've had this week, and that I scheduled the time for processing before returning to work.
Part of what I'm committed to in Lent this year is pursuing writing in my journal again. Hopefully on a daily basis. I'm committed to processing the things that have begun within me over the course of the last five weeks, and I think that needs to happen first on paper, before it ever makes it to this blog.
So I'll still blog, but maybe not with the depth I've sometimes applied. You may see more thoughts from others, more links to articles, more humor, and less of my own essays.
I need to make sure I take this space. That I let Lent work in me again this year.
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